‼️ Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman ‼️

 47/∞

“There are certain emotions that will kill your drive; frustration and confusion.  You can change these to a positive force.  Frustration means you are on the verge of a breakthrough.  Confusion can mean you are about to learn something.  Expect the breakthrough and expect to learn.”  — Kathleen Spike, Master Certified Coach

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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📚 Length: 348 pages

🔊Audiobook: 13 hours and 29 minutes

Why you should read this book?

💡Explains you why EQ is actually more important than IQ.

💡Could be a great self-therapy.

💡Gives you some tips on how to rise up emotionally wise children.

You are probably going to be wondering how I came across this book. Years ago, when I was studying at Czech Law School I visited my friend. This book was laid on his coffee table. I opened it, read a page or two, liked it, put it down and forgot about this book completely.

Since self-development site Kaisersbook.review has become quite successful in terms of visitors over the past 2 years, I decided to pick it as my next next book to review.

Psychology always belonged among my interests. I was curious about the fakt how we can get so easily fucked up on “the invisible“ psychological level. This book won’t teach you a shit about how to be more socially intelligent, it is more of a summary of countless academic surveys researching different parts of emotional intelligence. In the other words, in order to improve your social intelligence, you have to learn from people around you, but this book could help you to focus your weak spots and eventually improve them. Why am I saying that? Because if you know the root of what causes you to behave in the way you do not like, by knowing that root, that nasty cause, you can start to slowly retrain yourself and change your behaviour for better.

…

Stay positive, always

The good news is that almost all human behaviour could be changed. Even people with serious traumas could be cured of them. The bad news is that if the root some trauma is really deep (like in the cases with PTSD), it is harder to erase it completely. Nevertheless, all progress counts and by knowing how those traumas are created, you can start to work on desired improvements.

It is important to note that our spiritual world and our physical tangible world are so closely connected that they could be considered to be the one. ☯️ Which means whatever is happening inside of you, it influences your physical body. E.g. you are constantly stressed, it takes a toll on your body and if you won’t change anything, one nice sunny day, you get a heart attack…

The way we think about ourselves goes so far that it can even help you to cure seemingly incurable deceases, like cancer… Interestingly enough, people who are well informed and hopeful have higher chance getting through cancer, difficult surgeries and other diseases. 🦠 Group therapy for people in such situations are vital, because it increases their chances of staying alive. According to research, depressed cancer patients had 50% less chance of surviving. In the group of hopeful and happy patients it increased likelihood of being cured by 25%.

When depressed and stressed, bear in mind: it it slowly killing you. Look on the bright side.

How humans become so smart

This is my personal reflection. I was wondering, why we have become the smartest animal on this planet. 🐒 We created society and extremely complex social structures. This aspect made us smarter than other animals. Building on the ability to comprehend complex social structures, we were soon able to invent things, such as wheel, casting metals, electronics and so on.

Modern way of life is killing us

But the biggest problem of big cities is that it is taking us away from whee we came from: our social structures. Everything is the matter of money today. The bastards above us are raking more and more in their pockets, while we are spending more and more time in work. Having less time for our friends, family, kids and so on. This is the only reason why we need more and more therapists nowadays. Many people in big cities might have enough money, but contrary won’t have enough time to upkeep their social structure. They you add stress… financial worries, over working, lack of time, low wages, burn-outs and all that mess which is killing us as humans. I would even add that we have too many options, because it paralyses our decision making. Great example for this is Tinder dating app especially for females who cannot decide whether to wear red or blue dress, but are suppose to choose out of thousands male wooers on Tinder.

Overall, many people in big cities are suffering, are unhappy and all it would have fixed is more free time and less stress. It is a vicious circle really.

The tech world is the only benefiting out of this problem. Wanna date? Here is the app for dating. Wanna hang out with moms who have the children of the same age as you do? Here is the app for that. But remember, you have to pay 💵 for all of this and the results will be … well questionable.

Apps cannot replace real social contact and tenderness. I was thinking why moms need nowadays apps for meeting other moms with children. I mean I grew up at communist tenement. We all kids from there played together. Our moms were meeting other moms at the local playground. Nobody was alone or sad. But as the Czech Rep. turned capitalist I realised we all all free. We can travel wherever we want. We do not need a permission granted by communist government to travel abroad. But we cannot afford to own our own flat. We can forgot about accessible day-care for out children or housing where we all would be able to rise families with people of similar social-economic background.

Those were some of my thought on the modern way of life… 😉 

“When awareness is brought to an emotion, power is brought to your life.” – Tara Meyer Robson

This book explains you how different centres in your brain 🧠 communicate with each other. Did you know that when you get scared, amygdala (our ancient animal brain) sends a signal which does not get filtered by newer frontal lobes and therefore you end up in fight or flight situation?

I found this information particularly interesting. It is even closely related to PTSD, which is the condition when our brain is overly sensitive to a certain type of situation. You can cure it by trying not to react and running the information through your frontal lobes. But it takes loads of time and awareness. 

Beware of toxic relationships 

Let’s say you work somewhere, but the environment is toxic. This does not only affect your workplace performance but also your health.

Emotions and learning 

Emotions help us learn. I mean I can confirm that. I hated classes on the Czech law school. The classes were taught by former communists, who were emotionally totally numb and dumb. They classes missed enthusiasm, interesting facts and fireworks. 💥🧨 😆 I could not learn a shit!

But then I had some great teachers in my life, who were actually helpful and knew how to teach. Interestingly enough, the only way of how to learn something is actually though a good story which leaves an emotional imprint on you.

Todays big deal

Children’s EQ is decreasing in all social groups (the rich, the poor, it is all the same). Each generation it goes down by 5%. In the old days, only old people were at risk of being lonely, isolated and therefore depressed. Nowadays, it is the other way around. While old people are still being at risk, more and more young people are getting depressed and isolated. Even though they have countless apps to connect with people.

Being emotionally healthy is as important as being healthy physically. 

But to be honest I think I have picked this book for a reason. As I’m looking on my life by the age of 30, I’m gaining more perspective on what I have achieved, what could have I achieved and I still want to achieve. As the matter of fact I have realised I have gave up on many things I should have not.

But back to the point, this book helped me to realise some of my discrepancies.

Kaiser’s Verdict: 👍

Dope psychological shit. Great for self-therapy. Add it to your reading list NOW! 💪😃

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

👉 Buy this book! 👈 through my link and help me build this website! 😊

Feel free to like, share and comment or recommend books/courses you find inspirational yourself. I’m keen to hear about them.

Coming Up Next: 

The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel

Peace 🧘‍♂️✌️🌱